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Following Relationship Violence/Stalking

In an emergency where someone is being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, please call 911. 

Getting Help for Relationship Violence

It is not uncommon for individuals who are experiencing relationship violence (also called dating or domestic violence) to take some time before attempting to leave their abusive partner. In fact, many victims of relationship violence will attempt to end the relationship several times, possibly even leaving the relationship briefly, before ending the relationship permanently. This period of time, where the survivor is attempting to leave the abusive relationship, can be very scary and even dangerous. Safety planning is an important consideration, and should be tailored to each survivor's unique needs.

A CARE advocate is available to assist you in creating a plan for safety. The plan should include considerations for:

  • What does safety mean to you?
  • What to do when there is an assault currently happening
  • What to do when planning to leave
  • How to stay safe after leaving
  • Resources needed to increase safety

Domestic Abuse Forensic Exams (DAFE) are available to survivors of relationship violence that experienced injuries due to abuse, such as strangulation. The evidence from the exams can be utilized when pursuing a police report. Additionally, strangulation injuries are often internal with no external visible injuries and are easy to miss without proper training for examiners. CARE Advocates are available to discuss access to exams or medical care if injuries such as strangulation have occurred. 

If you or a friend has experienced relationship violence and would like support services, please call (858) 534-5793 or email

Getting Help for Stalking

Stalking behaviors can have a profound impact on the survivors: increased anxiety, hypervigilance, anger, etc. Survivors often know the individual who is stalking them, and may have even been in a previous relationship with them. 

* If you are experiencing unwanted behaviors from an individual known or unknown to you, which are making you feel fearful or anxious, there are some things you can do:

  • If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
  • Trust your instincts. If you feel you are unsafe, trust that feeling.
  • Take threats seriously. Danger generally is higher when the stalker talks about suicide or murder, or when a survivor tries to leave or end the relationship.
  • Seek support. Contact a CARE Advocate who can help you understand your rights and options, and can assist with creating a safety plan.
  • Keep documentation of the stalking. When the stalker follows you or contacts you, write down the time, date, and place. Keep emails, text messages, phone messages, letters, or notes. Photograph anything of yours the stalker damages and any injuries the stalker causes. Ask witnesses to write down what they saw. Click here to download a stalking incident and behavior log.   
  • Contact the police. The stalker may also have broken other laws by doing things like assaulting you or stealing or destroying your property.
  • Restraining orders are court orders that tell the stalker to stay away from you. You may contact a confidential CARE Advocate that can assist you with information and resources on how to obtain one if necessary.

If you or a friend has experienced stalking and would like support services, please call (858) 534-5793 or email